7 childhood lessons I had to unlearn as an adult

I wonder if there is a school of unlearning.

Charlie Macksey, The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse

Not everything we are taught as kids holds true when we grow up. That doesn’t mean that our teachers or elders were wrong; they taught us what was best for us at that point of time, according to their understanding. What we need to accept is that not everyone can be right all the time and hence many things that we learnt as kids need to be unlearnt to lead a happy and content life.

#1 Be the best in what you do

This lesson unknowingly teaches us to be perfect in everything that we undertake. But soon after I started working, I realised it was not always possible to hand in perfectly executed deliverables. And after two decades of professional writing I know that perfection is nothing but the perfect anathema to completion. Because there is always scope of improvement in a draft.

I now aim to ship things first and perfect them later. I can probably count the number of times this has landed me in a soup. But the number of times this approach has helped me survive is too many to count.

#2 Don’t show off

I know that humility is a desirable human characteristic but if I don’t show off how am I going to market myself! 

But this is still a lesson I am to unlearn completely. Probably because somewhere in the deepest of my hearts I want to be that nice, humble, patient girl who doesn’t mind giving centrestage to friends and cheering them from the sidelines.

#3 Wait for your turn

Nothing that you ever learnt in your childhood could be more disastrous for your work life than this. 

If you keep waiting for your turn, you will never get a chance in the big bad corporate world. So go ahead and make your presence known to your boss and colleagues.

#4 Grab whatever opportunity comes your way

This was okay when in school we were trying to get involved in as many activities as possible for “holistic” development. I participated in badminton, long jump, shotput and discus throw. I also was an integral part of the house orchestra and skit as well as debating teams. Phew….now that I am listing it out, I think I don’t have the right to shout at my daughters for participating in too many events.

But in adult life, and that too as a freelancer, it was important for me to learn to say no. 

A couple of years into my freelancing career I realised that if I continued to say yes to every opportunity that came my way, I would have to give up on better ones that appeared later.

We need to be mindful of accepting any opportunity, however timely it might seem.  Click To Tweet

#5 Think of others before yourself

I completely disagree with this one now. 

Self-care is essential for self-preservation. Because, as I often keep reminding those around me, if you fall sick or are in any sort of trouble, no one comes to the rescue. You have to clean your own muck.

#6 Complete what you begin

I took the longest to unlearn this one. 

At least till a year and half ago, I ploughed through a boring book simply because I thought it unwise to leave it unfinished. Pandemic taught me to focus on what is really important. 

Recently I have left many books and projects unfinished without any real qualms about it.

#7 Now is the time to work; we can enjoy after retirement

This one is class! 

When exactly did they want us to enjoy? 

When we are not able to climb the mountains or endure the incessant waves on sea beaches due to weakened knees? 

Or not able to have our favourite food because of chronic illness or food allergies? 

The time to both work and enjoy is now; the two need not be mutually exclusive. Click To Tweet

Final thoughts

What is that one childhood lesson you had to unlearn to thrive as an adult?

I would love to know; please share in comments and it might light the way for other readers.